Let people in, do new things, explore new places

1:57 AM

That time I found out I had sneakers and HIKED.

Around 6 months ago I met my current boyfriend at the movies. At first, I utterly freaked out for about the entirety of the first month, like an anomaly of nature. You see, when you get yourself so well defined in the "still healing" station of a break up, sometimes it's difficult to recognize when you're ready to leave it, when you've healed, when you should not even be thinking of yourself as a "going through a break up" person, when you're the one getting yourself stuck in that category in the first place. Sometimes we need the world to give us some signs.. Or in my case, it took the world throwing an older, extremely nice, fun, handsome guy at me, with persistence. 
Or maybe I'm just a weirdo. (An incredibly possible assumption, you know.)
But you see, I'm one of those people that play it safe. ALL THE TIME. I use that everyday makeup to go out at night. I use the same beige don't-let-anyone-notice-me clothes. I'm even scared of using hashtags on instagram. Yes, what? I pretend I don't play safe, though. In my head I think of myself as a brave person. But I'm not. I'm just kidding myself. One thought at a time.
Anyway, the point being: when the world threw this great guy at me, I chickened out. Big time. I had entire panic attacks. He was so different from anyone in my life, so different from me, I was scared I was fooling myself. I was going out with this amazing fun person and the only moments I would start talking was when I was slightly tipsy (which led to a whole different problematic misconception... but that's another conversation entirely).
Well then how did you stick around, M? How is he your current boyfriend and not just a fling that has flung? 
Friends, my dears. Once I started panic-ing, my friends played the "try keeping your chills"/"he's a really nice guy"/"let it go"/"just have fun" cards. It worked. Somehow. And the awesome part about it all is that now I have someone in my life, who would have not have found a way in in any other possible way, and who has so many new things to offer to me. 
In the last six months I've been to so many new places, met so many people, laughed so hard and done things I would have never done if I had stayed inside my own shell. It was only a matter of letting him in enough so that he could then present me to all these new things in life, in the sweetest way possible.
Thank goodness I listened to my friends and pretended I had all the chills.

Municipal Theater of the City of Rio de Janeiro. Lets pretend those 2 dudes aren't ruining the picture, I took this in a rush, the opera was starting. DUDE, THE OPERA.

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