|That time I found out I had sneakers and HIKED.|
Or maybe I'm just a weirdo. (An incredibly possible assumption, you know.)
But you see, I'm one of those people that play it safe. ALL THE TIME. I use that everyday makeup to go out at night. I use the same beige don't-let-anyone-notice-me clothes. I'm even scared of using hashtags on instagram. Yes, what? I pretend I don't play safe, though. In my head I think of myself as a brave person. But I'm not. I'm just kidding myself. One thought at a time.
Anyway, the point being: when the world threw this great guy at me, I chickened out. Big time. I had entire panic attacks. He was so different from anyone in my life, so different from me, I was scared I was fooling myself. I was going out with this amazing fun person and the only moments I would start talking was when I was slightly tipsy (which led to a whole different problematic misconception... but that's another conversation entirely).
Well then how did you stick around, M? How is he your current boyfriend and not just a fling that has flung?
Friends, my dears. Once I started panic-ing, my friends played the "try keeping your chills"/"he's a really nice guy"/"let it go"/"just have fun" cards. It worked. Somehow. And the awesome part about it all is that now I have someone in my life, who would have not have found a way in in any other possible way, and who has so many new things to offer to me.
In the last six months I've been to so many new places, met so many people, laughed so hard and done things I would have never done if I had stayed inside my own shell. It was only a matter of letting him in enough so that he could then present me to all these new things in life, in the sweetest way possible.
Thank goodness I listened to my friends and pretended I had all the chills.