4 months is how long it took for me to be able to think about writing this review. This book hit me like a ton of bricks directly on my head, knocked me down and destroyed me completely. It molded my end of the year, changed a relationship and scared me in multiple ways. But let me take a couple steps back.

I first heard about this book when Selena Gomez's (aka my eternal girl crush and someone I somehow blindly stan for) production company signed with Jay Asher to produce the movie version of the story. This was years ago, years. Even before Justin Bieber was a thing (good times). No movie has been made (yet, or so I hope), but the story got my immediate attention and I just decided that I had to read it. Took me a while to finally find and acquire the book, and even longer to take the courage to read it. Yet, it took me only a couple of days to finish it. Why? Well...

Thirteen Reasons Why tells the story of Hannah Baker, a teenage girl who kills herself and leaves 13 cassette tapes for the 13 people she considers responsible for her tragic last act. The narrator of the story is Clay Jensen, one of the recipients of these 13 tapes, and as he gets to listen to Hannah's side of the story to try and understand what he has done to be responsible for such an awful episode, we learn about the facts from his point of view, feeling just as scared and lost as he does.

I do not want to get much into the details of the story, may you decide to read it and find out on your own what happens. However, even if it does not get as intense as I expected, be aware that this is a read it all with a lump in your throat kind of book. It's heavy and relatable and scary. And a big warning letter as well.

I would also like to point on how it's not in any way about what is right or wrong. Hannah Baker isn't painted as a villain or a saint. Nor is most of the characters. Even if some of them are shown only in a glimpse, all of them are portrayed as humans, flawed, but humans. 

I highly recommend this book. Even though I do not think I will ever be able to pick it up again. A book has never been this heavy to me. And it was fantastically worth it. Many people did dislike it, however, as reviews online have shown me, and I can understand why. It's not superbly well written, nor is the whole story and reasoning completely perfect. But when is suicidal reasoning ever perfect? Anyway, the concept is original (something hard to find these days), the topic of suicide and depression is always in need of discussion and attention and the book makes you feel.

I may be biased. This book caused a commotion in my life no other book has ever caused. But I'd say it's mostly worth it. Now I can only wish they make the movie come to life.