I was not sure I was ever going to read The Casual Vacancy once it first came out. The reviews were not that great and I was slightly frightened of ruining the picture of Rowling I had in my head since Harry Potter. However, a dear friend and my sister both bought me a copy of the book as a gift and that decided it for me. I was not disappointed.

The Casual Vacancy is, like Rowling herself said, a book about responsibility. The story revolves around the political disputes and issues involving the tiny town of Pagford, in a very adult, critical and harsh view of serious every day issues, kilometers away from the fantasy world we're used to getting from Rowling. Once the loved Parish Councillor Barry Fairbrother dies, not only his family is left adrift but his friends, his admirers and his seat on the council. Consequently, the entire town of Pagford.

Don't fool yourself. This is not a political book, though it does revolve around politics. At least it's not about politics in the boring and alienating manner we usually understand it as. Rowling builds a political scenario and explores the multiple dramas and emotional roller coasters that unfold from that point on. And she does it beautifully.

Much like in Harry Potter, you'll love and hate characters. You'll learn to love characters you hate. And surprisingly hate characters you love. It's a book that explores human flaw, ethics and egos. IJust as well as exploring family and social responsibility.

I'll be fair. It took me a while to dive into it whole heartedly, as it seemed to drag out a bit too much at first. I swear to you, however, if you keep going you will get to a point where there is no putting the book down and you'll find, like me, that it was well worth it.

Early this year, BBC launched the TV miniseries based on Rowling's book (I swear that woman and her descendants will never run out of money). I have watched the first episode and, even if the aesthetic was extremely different from what I had imagined, I do plan on watching it full eventually. We'll see how successful the TV transformation was.

4 months is how long it took for me to be able to think about writing this review. This book hit me like a ton of bricks directly on my head, knocked me down and destroyed me completely. It molded my end of the year, changed a relationship and scared me in multiple ways. But let me take a couple steps back.

I first heard about this book when Selena Gomez's (aka my eternal girl crush and someone I somehow blindly stan for) production company signed with Jay Asher to produce the movie version of the story. This was years ago, years. Even before Justin Bieber was a thing (good times). No movie has been made (yet, or so I hope), but the story got my immediate attention and I just decided that I had to read it. Took me a while to finally find and acquire the book, and even longer to take the courage to read it. Yet, it took me only a couple of days to finish it. Why? Well...

Thirteen Reasons Why tells the story of Hannah Baker, a teenage girl who kills herself and leaves 13 cassette tapes for the 13 people she considers responsible for her tragic last act. The narrator of the story is Clay Jensen, one of the recipients of these 13 tapes, and as he gets to listen to Hannah's side of the story to try and understand what he has done to be responsible for such an awful episode, we learn about the facts from his point of view, feeling just as scared and lost as he does.

I do not want to get much into the details of the story, may you decide to read it and find out on your own what happens. However, even if it does not get as intense as I expected, be aware that this is a read it all with a lump in your throat kind of book. It's heavy and relatable and scary. And a big warning letter as well.

I would also like to point on how it's not in any way about what is right or wrong. Hannah Baker isn't painted as a villain or a saint. Nor is most of the characters. Even if some of them are shown only in a glimpse, all of them are portrayed as humans, flawed, but humans. 

I highly recommend this book. Even though I do not think I will ever be able to pick it up again. A book has never been this heavy to me. And it was fantastically worth it. Many people did dislike it, however, as reviews online have shown me, and I can understand why. It's not superbly well written, nor is the whole story and reasoning completely perfect. But when is suicidal reasoning ever perfect? Anyway, the concept is original (something hard to find these days), the topic of suicide and depression is always in need of discussion and attention and the book makes you feel.

I may be biased. This book caused a commotion in my life no other book has ever caused. But I'd say it's mostly worth it. Now I can only wish they make the movie come to life.

When I was a little girl, I remember trying hard to be good at things. I used to sit down as soon as I got home from school and did all my homework, I tried my best at all the art projects, denying any help because I wanted to try and make it myself the best I could, I played sports even if I sucked at it and I danced ballet around the house, proud to show the latest spin I learned. I tried my best at doing everything I wanted to be good at, because I wanted to be the best I could possibly be.

Then, I grew up a little and started getting inspired by different people and characters around me. At first, I was Hermione, which meant I ended up acting as if I knew everything (instead of actually knowing it all, as she did). I later started acting as if I were too cool for anything since, for reasons I don't even remember, I was one of those poor souls that believed in the people that acted blasé about everything and wished to be one of them. There was also the wonderful time in my life when I wanted to be Blair Waldorf. I had the tiaras and all.

Eventually, though, I let go of all of those things and decided that I just wanted to be myself, and the best version of that that I can be. I found a group of people who accepted me, embraced me and let me be me. That was the most magical moment of my life, to this day. 

Yet, I still see so many people worried about what others think, worried about being something they're not, worried about getting approval by being someone else. I see people around them suffering the consequences of these worries. I am one of these people. And it hurts me and everyone around anyone who still hasn't allowed themselves to be.

You see, 99,99% of the time the person you ARE is better and has more potential for greatness than anything anyone else is or thinks is great. By being someone else, you're hurting yourself. And to those that know who you really are, it's hurtful and a shame. Because you are better. You will always be better. Don't be someone you're not just to look cool to other people. You'll soon realize how pathetic that really is. People that need you to look "cool" are never worth it. 

If you have to change yourself and your actions and if you clearly act differently, depending on who you're with, than something is not right, my friend. And you are probably hurting someone by deceiving them. And you are hurting yourself by boycotting your own potential for greatness and by being untrue. And you should probably sit down and think about if you really want to waste your life being someone else. 

Someone else already is someone else.

Embrace you.

I traveled to São Paulo about a bit more than a month ago now, when I packed the items on the above picture. I was thoroughly impressed by my skills. It was a 3 day/2 nights short trip to a friends house for the farewell of a friend who was about to go do an exchange program in exciting Holland and the presentation of another friend's band at a bar close by. While that trip was much more exciting and dramatic than any of us ever suspected, my packing was A+. 

My one and most important tip: think about the trip you will have (or want to have) and chose the clothes that match that idea. In my case, it was a (supposed to be) chilled and casual trip. And for that you can definitely see I followed my own rule as everything but accessories were black and white and ultra comfy, a game I have going on in my wardrobe this year, for some reason. Well, except for my pajamas. Aren't they cute?

This adds to the excitement of a trip, if I might add. Once you start wondering and planning what you will be wearing, the fantasy of your future trip, no matter how small or simple, becomes ever more especial. And once you are there, the happiness is real!

I just can't wait to escape again this weekend.